Ask Why, Not “What Do You Do?”

It makes sense. We all ask the “So, what do you do for a living?” or a variant when we meet someone in a professional (or otherwise) setting.

What would happen if, instead of or following hard on the heels of that question, we ask, “Why do you enjoy what you do?”

Sure, you may get some flat “I don’t!” responses, but for the others, you may find out something really cool.

But don’t just take my word for it. Here’s Simon Terry’s spin.

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Why I Don’t Like Calling People “Saints”

You tend to hear it when someone performs what seems like a remarkable feat. It could be great or small. It could be feeding the poor, housing the homeless, caring for someone who has an incurable disease.

“That person is a saint!”

But the problem with saints who are still alive is other people are all too willing to let them do too much.

It’s not that these living saints aren’t doing amazing, awesome things. They are.

It’s just that it might be better to lead with an offer of helping them out in turn instead of simply calling them a saint, angel, or other pleasing but ultimately empty word.

Because it’s far easier to stand around murmuring in praise and then retreat to your own safe life than it is to step in and give this saint a hand. Respite care for a caregiver. Showing up at someone’s fundraising event. Donating to their cause.

See, a lot of the time, there isn’t enough time for this person to do all they need to do. So they borrow time against themselves, and just using caregivers as an example, it’s already been proven that neglecting yourself wears you down considerably if not dangerously.

And also a lot of the time, these same people don’t always feel that they can ask for help. Or they think that if you wanted to help, you’d help, and if you’re not offering, it means you don’t want to. It depends on your culture, but we can be far more conditioned to thinking we need to carry the load by ourselves than otherwise.

So the next time you find yourself calling someone a saint, do a mental step back and figure out something you can do to actively help out.

You can still use that “saint” word. Just maybe use it after you’ve helped.

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I couldn’t find anything I liked for “saintly,” so have some alpacas.

 

Listen: Mule Skinner Blues

Sing along time!

No Light Without Darkness

“What is light without dark?” growl-hissed Lord Darkness in the movie Legend.

And he probably had a clue, or at any rate, very few people were going to tell him otherwise. Dude had horns and pointy teeth. I’m not even posting his picture here because SCARY.

(Of course, we did have people telling him otherwise, but you’ll have to watch the movie to find that out. I absolutely love it myself.)

Just now I came across a similar sentiment:

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This kind of thing always does make me wonder–wouldn’t they, anyway? A lot is down to our perception and comprehension of things greater than ourselves, after all.

But then we’re coming into Tree Falling In the Woods territory, or maybe it’s Bear In The Woods, and it’s always best to give bears privacy, so, I’ll just leave it at that.

 

 

Read: 5 People We Wish Would Stop Using Linkedin

A good read!

Of course there are more than five types of people we wish would stop using LinkedIn. From opportunistic “inspirational!” posts to the person who connects only to go into sales mode immediately after, marketing is marketing, whatever gloss is put on it.

Pro tip: If you’re unsure as to whether your own status update, profile picture, or connection request belongs on LinkedIn or Facebook, go with Facebook.

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Is this my best side? From kids.nationalgeographic.com